Last night, women gathered in the beautiful Maria’s Bridal Couture boutique for an evening of introductions, of networking, of kind interaction. Carol Kirkland of AVE Office Supplies spoke about the importance of relationships in business.
There was wine and shrimp and homemade mini-muffins with olive and feta cheese. Samira made three desserts by hand. And a feeling of pervasive warmth and integrity permeated the night.
Except for one woman.
She came late, and in the middle of Carol’s speech, said loudly, “Sorry I’m late.” As if anyone knew her. I didn’t even, and I was the host of the night, but then I’d invited everyone via email with the hope of bringing together good people who do good work.
We exchanged a chuckle at one point of the night, she in her heavy irreverent smoker’s voice, and I thought I had expanded my circle. Until I learned from two of my clients present in the night that she had slinked up to them and said, “I know you’re working with Meredith, but if you want another perspective, give me a call.”
They told me, I cornered her and frankly, I don’t know if it was that she didn’t even get my name right, or that in the generosity of my invitation she viewed an opportunity to try to steal business.
But I operate with integrity and from a place of goodness and so I know that my hard work stands for itself and the people I trust are worth trusting. I called her out, she apologized to all, and slinked out the door into the dark of the night.
And then she sent me an email, calling me insecure and tacky and pointing out that it was a networking event, wasn’t it?
I asked kindly to be deleted from her contact list. And I wondered where some people learn their definitions.
Yes, it was a networking night. Carol spoke beautifully about the power of a handwritten note and the kindness in a gesture like a birthday card unexpected or a bag of bagels before the meeting.
I was taught by mentors, my parents and virtually everyone I know that networking is an opportunity to introduce yourself and show what you stand for. That in-your-face tactics never get you far and your integrity and work ethic and the actual work you do say more than anything else.
Yep, it was a networking night and a beautiful one at that. But the bad energy seeped in through the glass doors. I’m sending it back to the universe and residing only in goodness.
I thought it was rude when she made such a big announcement to a quiet room but I shrugged it off. Then, I looked over and saw her on her iPhone checking messages during Carol’s presentation. I thought that was rude, but again, just chalked it up. Of course, I couldn’t know some of the other behind the scenes stuff that was going on. I don’t need people like that in my networking circle either.
Thanks for your comment on my blog, Roz. Unbelievable! But, I hesitate to focus so much on one bad element when there were 22 amazing women there last night and such good energy from all of them! Thank you for being part of it.
She totally missed the point of the whole evening. Today’s networking isn’t brash, uncaring and in the spirit of out-for-what-you-can-get. It’s about building connections based on authenticity. Too bad she didn’t arrive on time, graciously, and actually learn something. Thanks for a great evening, Lynne.
Hmm. Tacky tacky tacky…..sure is the opposite of you!
OK, I totally think this could be the same woman who interrupted my presentation on social media!!! She has a very heavy smoker’s voice. Do you remember me telling you about this at breakfast? I was a guest speaker at a conference, and in the middle of my talk someone asked a really good question – which I answered really well. However, she thought it necessary to get her two cents in and offer HER lengthy opinion and tried to highjack MY presentation until I stopped her.
Had a similar thing happen with a new client at a grand opening event. An ad rep was trying to get the client to commit to an (totally unnecessary) ad buy and the client explained that I was the firm handling all of her marketing and asked her to go through me. This chick KNEW I would put the kabosh on it so she slying waited around until the end of the event and after I had left (had another meeting, but my assistant was still there) and approached the client AGAIN saying no matter what I said, she really, really needed to advertise with her.
I think this is indicative of the economy and the desperation people are demonstrating in order to secure business. Unscrupulous and horrible. Let’s compare notes on the smoking chick and see if it was her!!! Maureen
Hi Lynne. I’m sorry that I missed such a wonderful evening and many special women. I believe that all bad energy belongs way out in the universe as opposed to poisoning many good souls! Hope to hear from you soon. Yours truly, Allison